Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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