He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize