dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
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