Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
