do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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