i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
NoShamevember. You game?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
