who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
OPIZZABONMYDICK
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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