Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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