The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
