i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
