He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Your shirt... Was in my pants
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
