Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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