Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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