I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
