Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
