This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I met the friendliest cop last night
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
