Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
