Taylor Swift is so right about you.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
