New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
