Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
