we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
