Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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