There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
