and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
