We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
