They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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