I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
