Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
third nipple confirmed
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
