32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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