WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
