I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
