Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize