1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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