I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
