That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize