i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
