hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
