I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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