We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
