she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
