Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
