oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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