It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
