You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Welp...herpes.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
