I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
