I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
