it wasn't lemon gatorade
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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