my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Found your dick twin last night
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
