So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
