i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
