im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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