Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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