Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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