Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
