I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
