I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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