remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I look better un-naked...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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