And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
