He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
These tits shall not be calmed
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