Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
