but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I forgot how hot balto sounded
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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