then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
