that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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