so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
