you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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