So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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