If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
