I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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