She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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