Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I forgot how hot balto sounded
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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