Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
