OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
