Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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