She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
