Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
