I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
